daily serenity prayer

prayer for the moment

2012-02-21T16:23:00.000-08:00

Here.
Now.
Here.
Now.

I'm sitting at the perfect cafe with my writing pal. The sunshine is all dapply and warm. We are drinking tea. Our table is on a brick patio. My mind, for a change, is not racing down the block ahead of me like an impatient, overzealous roller derby queen. It is not looking back at ground I've already covered. I am completely here with the bricks, the sunshine, the tea, my friend, this moment. I am right here. There is nothing else. In the moment I find the everything.

not necessary

2012-02-12T11:25:00.000-08:00

yesterday
is no longer necessary.
the sun is rising.

The other day, a woman was describing a pain she had been "living with" since she was a teenager. And she was in her 70s. What I said to her is something I have to remind myself at times: living with pain is not necessary. I probably have pain that dates back to the time I was wearing bellbottoms. At times I still walk around wearing that outdated brand of self-doubt. Old thoughts about being less-than. Worries about accomplishment. And although I know that suffering exists and pain is part of life, a lot of my pain has definitely become obsolete. It's there because I feed it. It hangs around because I let it sleep on the sofa without paying rent. It stays because I choose to step over it instead of looking it in the eye and telling it to go. I'm afraid of the confrontation. Afraid of what's underneath...of the empty space it will leave when it's gone. But it's OK. I believe in the sunrise.

shift

2012-01-27T21:13:00.000-08:00

let me witness
the hurricane
that begins on a butterfly wing

I heard someone describe a small, very small change they had made to their routine today, and I took a deep breath. Because I knew I was witnessing the beginning of a major change. I tried not to let the enthusiasm show too much, for fear that it would send the small shift scurrying for cover. Because at the core of profound change is something almost imperceptible. It's a shift in awareness. A deeper exhale. The drop of a shoulder. It's as hushed as the night after the snow has stopped falling. Moonlit. Motionless. Everything hidden from view. But happening. Yes. The big changes happen not when we vow them to. Not when we're moving, pushing, reaching, making lists. But simply because it's time. I am in the presence of monumental changes.

Powerless. Really, really.

2011-12-08T18:19:00.001-08:00

grant me light,
heat, hot water, coffee,
toast, electronic entertainment,
and most of all, patience.

When the recent windstorms literally left me powerless for 6 days and nights, it was a big fat serenity test. Which, like my high school algebra class, I just barely passed. And wasn't interested in learning anything in the process. Make no mistake, I know how to do "survival mode." All too well. But having moved into "thrival" makes me resent "survival" all the more. Hunker down, keep safe, keep others safe, do whatever is necessary, keep moving, keep breathing. The fact is, survival is exhausting. Really glad those 6 days, and that part of my life, are over.
I am grateful for thriving.

stalling for serenity

2011-11-29T13:11:00.001-08:00

grant me the stall,
that keeps me from falling
off the cliff of regret

A friend asked that I post these...handy phrases that help me stall while I locate the edge of the cliff, the boundary. Because saying the first thing that comes to my mind is often a mistake. These phrases buy me the time I need to get myself on solid ground and figure out what I really want to think, say or do. They keep me from having to climb my way out of a situation I could have avoided. Really much easier to not go there to begin with.
_____

Before accepting someone else's opinion or advice: "Thanks, I'll think about it."

Before lending my own unsolicited advice: "Would you like my thoughts?"

When faced with conflict:
"Why don't we get the facts?"
"I'm sorry you're upset."
"What did you mean by that?"

Asking for something:
"I need your help. Can you please....."
"I don't like that, why don't we do this instead?"

When I've already opened my mouth too quickly:
"I've changed my mind..."

General:
"Let me get back to you."
"Let me think about that."
"I need to have more information before I decide."
"Maybe."

and of course, an option I often forget:
"No."
or just saying nothing at all.

I take a breath. I don't always have to speak my mind.

surrender

2011-11-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

help me to remember,

when to advance,

when to retreat,

and mostly, when to surrender

Sometimes I'm sure that if the universe could, it wouldbe writing “surrender Karen” in the sky for me, just like the wicked witch of the West. It would be the reminder I need to let go, on a daily basis, of things over which I have no control. Which would be most everything. Living “surrendered” is a wonderful place to be, if I can only remember how to get there. It’sthe Emerald City baby, where everything is in color and people are waiting to put new ribbons in my braids. I forget about wicked witches hovering above me. I focus on what is happening right here, in this moment. The past is gone, the future will take care ofitself. In this moment, I live surrendered.

change

2011-11-01T17:31:00.000-07:00

grant me the faith,
to survey the land,
envision my garden,

and trust the sunshine

I picked a bunch of tomatoes out of my garden yesterday, the last of October. It reminded me that things I plant have lives of their own, without need of my constant attention. Changing the landscape of our lives feels like an overwhelming task when everythingseems wrong or out of place. I always long to start with a bulldozer or dynamite. But that's not where it starts. The most powerful agent of change is vision. The landscape plan. Once I have that, change happens almost magically. I let the unwanted whither and die away, by refusing them the food and water of my thoughts. I fortify my soil. I drop a few seeds. I believe. Before I knowit, things are blooming and bearing fruit. My landscape has a life of its own. I turn my face toward the sunshine. Itend to myself and the garden of my life.

risk-taking

2011-10-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

help me look back

only to see how far I've come,

and to trust that every footstep
is leading me home

Twenty-four years ago today, Ileft everything and almost everyone I knew and loved to move across thecountry. It was a brave move, followed by many brave years in a place that didn't feel like home. We leave places, habits, situations, jobs, relationships because something about them no longer fits. After the leap, we mourn the loss of the familiar, the comfort of what we've left behind. Now I know that if I'd never moved to California, my incredible children may never have found me. That was the plan, the home that I wasn’t able to see yet. So when I take a leap into unfamiliar territory, I need to keep walking. And breathing. And being exactly where I find myself. I missed a lot of beauty in those years I spent looking back, instead of trusting my decision. There is a reward at the end of this risk. I trust myself. I trust the universe.

forgiveness

2011-08-19T18:22:00.000-07:00

help me to forgive,
knowing that
it is for me
that I give it

"Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure," advises my beloved Elizabeth Bennet, in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. At one time or another, we've all been wronged by others. And some wrongs seem unforgivable. We harden our hearts, furrow our brows and store the hurt away in our bodies somewhere. But forgiveness is a toll booth on the road to peace, health and happiness. Paying the toll and moving on is my choice. Forgiveness ISN'T saying that what someone did or said was OK. It's choosing to leave it behind me. I feel the weight of the grudge trailer I've been pulling. Anger keeps fogging up my windshield. It dawns on me that I've been circling the same block forever. I put down the magnifying glass and realize I've been focusing on a tiny spot on the map of my whole world. I pull back. I roll down the window. I drop it all in the toll booth. The gate opens. I am free. This is my highway.

stillness

2011-07-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

grant me the stillness,

the pause, the breath,

the empty space where anything is possible

Frantically chasing after happiness, dreams and answers very often sends them running for cover. If I can be in a place of stillness, calm and quiet…if I can slow my body and mind down and stop running and doing and scheming, I let miracles find me. If I were I dream, I would be afraid of my frantic self. I’d run the other way. But in my stillness, a butterfly comes and lands on my hand, and beats its beautiful wings for me (as it actually did one day.) That moment took my breath away. And all the chasing in the world could never have made it happen. My stillness gives solutions and remedies a quiet place to enter. Why do we dream at night? Because in the night's quiet the dreams feel safe. Think of how a dream seems to go on and on but really lasts just a few minutes or seconds. This other realm...the land of dreams...reminds me that the more I slow down and disconnect, the more I allow possibilities which are beyond my extremely limited imagination. Sometimes, it may be as simple as closing my eyes for a moment in the middle of my day, and taking a breath. And breathing into the knowledge that the universe is bringing me exactly what I need. I am in the still place, where miracles feel safe to enter.

soul mapping

2011-07-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

help me to know the limit,
draw the line,

and define my personal geography

In the backseat of our old family car, my sister and I had the big, expansive bench seat all to ourselves. Even with all that space, we would draw an imaginary line down the middle of the seat, demarking our respective territories. “This is the line,” we’d say, “stay on your side.” And part of the fun was seeing how close we could get to the line without crossing it. It was a way to pass the time on long car rides, and guaranteed to drive our parents nuts. That early boundary-setting was easy and natural. This is mine. That is yours. As I grew up, it got more complicated. Guilt, emotions, and general self-doubt got in the way. Am I being selfish? Will they get angry? Is it worth the battle? Because as I learned in the backseat, drawing the line is just the beginning. As soon as I do it, someone will try to cross it. And that's when the "fun" begins. Inevitably my sister and I would fall asleep on those long car rides, leaning against each other, imaginary line forgotten. Because that's the thing about boundaries. They are about knowing ourselves. Which, in the end, brings us closer to others. My boundaries are the map of my soul.

uncomfortable feelings

2011-06-29T15:36:00.000-07:00

give me the courage

to sit with an uncomfortable feeling,

just be with it,

and watch it disappear

Sometimes, I find myself clenching my jaw. An unfortunate habit that can mean I'm holding back an uncomfortable feeling...like anger, fear or grief. If I let myself feel it, will it swallow me up? Better swallow IT first. Those icky emotions are tricky. They like to hide out, and know all the best hiding places. They like to wear disguises. Righteous indignation, condescension, judgment, road rage and litigiousness are great hiding places for grief, fear and anger. The real emotions just want a little time, a little recognition. And when they don't get it, things can get ugly. I think of them as friends in need who just want me to sit with them for a while. No need to talk, explain, or counsel. No need to patronize, pat them on the back and say "there, there" or even worse "chin up." When I decide finally to open the door and walk in to the room where the feeling sits, my fear is that I will be stuck in there with it forever. But when I finally get the courage to do that, a surprising thing happens. Sooner than I expected, the feeling gets up and leaves the room. It's done. It just wanted a little attention. I pay attention to all my feelings.

lucky stars

2011-06-19T23:14:00.000-07:00

help me to look up and know

that whether I see them or not

the stars are there

and always will be

Now I have an app that lets me see where the stars are at any given moment of the day, in any place in the sky. I can even look back to the day I was born and see where they were then. And just like the celestial ones, no matter where I am, whether I am aware of them or not, my human stars surround me. Every one is unique, and each has lit my way, opposed me, encircled me, or drew away from me at different times along my journey. Whether they were perfect or not (no star is). Whether I marveled at their twinkle or barely noticed them. Whether their grace remained constant, or even if they streaked across my sky in the blink of an eye. For better or worse, they have led me to exactly this place. And it will continue. I sometimes forget to look up at the stars, but I know they are there, and always have been, helping me set my course in subtly perfect ways. I thank my lucky stars. And even my unlucky ones.

off the grid

2011-06-07T11:58:00.000-07:00

help me to go off-grid,
be the source of my own power

and lose my dependence

on things that drain me

Living "off the grid" is an idea that gets more popular as resources get more costly. It's about decreasing dependence on the power grid and living by alternative energy sources, closer to the land. I would like to live more “off the grid” in my personal life. Get close to the land, to the "ground" of myself. Build a cabin in the woods completely powered by the sunshine of my best me. It won't be as comfortable or safe as the house I know. But just like the utility bills in the mailbox, my life habits cost me. I have a choice about how I use my precious resources. I can stop watering the weeds of gossip, complaining, guilt and judgment and plant seeds of change instead. I can harness the power of honesty. Fuel myself with gratitude. Limit energy exchanges with negative people. Conserve energy by being silent when I want to speak. Empower myself by speaking when I would rather be silent. Dig my own deep well of peace. Today I feel my own power and take a step off the grid.

powerless

2011-05-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

help me stop flicking the light switch

in a blackout

and let the universe be in charge

The other day they were replacing power lines on my street. I was working at home, and I was without electricity for the whole day. Powerless. No computer. No laundry. No cordless phone. Lit the stove with a match. Wrote longhand. Walked the dog in the middle of the day.

Felt free.

In this case my powerlessness was obvious. But there are plenty of other times when it takes me a while to realize it. Like when I'm trying to solve a problem again and again in a way that isn't working. Or trying to change another person's behavior. Or letting a thought or feeling get the best of me. In those cases accepting powerlessness means giving myself permission to stop. Just stop. Stop trying to control, fix, think, rethink, do, redo what can't be fixed, controlled, done by me alone. I say "enough"... "when"... "I'm done." And I do something more productive. Read a book. Journal. Take a walk. Breathe. Powerlessness gives me space to start over, to detach, to get out of a rut, change my perspective, get free. I embrace the blessing of powerlessness.

life sandwich

2011-05-20T19:36:00.000-07:00

Help me to balance

earth and sky,

facts and feelings,

peanut butter and jelly

I'm constantly in search of balance. My yin and yang, masculine and feminine, peanut butter and jelly…I need both to really have a satisfactory life sandwich. I find a certain sense of comfort in the peanut-butter-left-brain’s lists, the things I can count on my fingers, and point to in black and white. But my jelly-right-brain makes me happy in a different way. My peanut butter brain is so rational, so objective, so logical. It’s not going to go running off my plate. Right-brained jelly is random and elusive. It slips off the knife and ignores the rules. I know what to expect of peanut butter brain. It’s a dependable source of protein, after all. But there are no easy answers with jelly brain...or is it jam, marmalade, or preserves, and how do I know for sure? Peanut butter may be the anchor my life sandwich. But jelly makes it interesting. I make my life sandwich with just the right balance of peanut butter and jelly.

bring it

2011-05-13T23:02:00.000-07:00

grant me the self-love

to be where I am,

not where I think I should be...

and to know that I've arrived

There is a time to prepare for a journey…we pack the bags, the picnic basket, the moving van. We make lists and cross things off. At some point, it's time to go. On this life journey, we gather lessons, search, listen, practice. We make lists and cross things off. At some point, it's time to go. Time to step into the circle, into that best self, authentic and knowing. It's time to speak up, even just to say “thank you” for a complement. We own this truth now, the learning is in us. It is our responsibility to act accordingly. It is time to take our place in the circle. We owe this to ourselves. We owe this to others. The circle is not complete without us. Not to join is truly to waste our gifts, to ignore what we have been put on this earth to do. The preparations are complete. We are ready. Look around one last time, and head for the door. Now is the time. Bring it.

personal gravity

2011-05-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

when I feel myself
spinning through space,
help me to believe in
my own gravity

We, as human planets, like to have a fixed orbit. We like to see the path ahead. Maybe not think about it too much. Maybe not have to work too hard. But sometimes life knocks us out of our orbit. We lose the job, the relationship, our way. The act of righting our shaky selves and beginning again can be frightening and exhilarating. It can also free us to fly, if we are supported by our own personal gravity...faith in ourselves and in something much bigger. As my children grow up, their orbits will take them further and further away from me. My job as a parent is to help them believe in gravity by being there. Steadfastly. Always. It's to be one of the lights they can look over their shoulder at, part of the warmth they carry with them. If I’ve done my job, they will have the ability to change orbits, wobble, and right themselves again. They will be connected and fearless adventurers. They will discover endless galaxies. It’s what I want for them. It’s what I want for myself. I am part of a vast universe.

no fair

2011-05-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

thank you,
for the things that go right,
the things that go wrong,
and the belief that it all evens out.

With the talk of justice in the news today, I've been thinking a lot about it. About how it's something we often want, but very seldom get. About how when we do get it, it's never enough. About how we waste a lot of time and energy thinking about it. We want the scales to be balanced, and we want it NOW. Last year, I got a photo ticket by mail, and my first thought was "no fair." Yet there was a picture of me, driving through a red arrow, totally oblivious. What was unfair about it? That I didn't know there was a camera? That I didn't have a chance to defend myself? That I got caught the ONE TIME (LOL) I broke the law, when I'm usually so cautious? I think what was really bothering me had something to do with deserving. I don't deserve this. Ah, deserving--Instant victim mentality...just add water. The bottom line is, there is no "fair." Stuff happens. Sometimes it happens to me. Other times, it's a close call, a bullet dodged, a tragedy averted. Gratitude for the good is the only thing guaranteed to counterbalance "unfair." Life is messy and imperfect and so am I. Fairness is a fallacy. While I spend energy wishing and waiting for it, good stuff passes me by. I embrace it all.

abundance

2011-04-26T12:08:00.000-07:00

help me to see
the overflowing abundance

stored in the warehouse
of my imagination

Abundance is a state of mind. One of the ways I get there is with a memory of abundance, like the Woolworth’s 'five and dime' I visited as a kid. A few pennies were enough to fill up a little brown bag from the never-ending bins of penny candy. My sister and I loved the fuchsia candy lipsticks wrapped in silver and cellophane. There were candy cigarettes...bubble gum, hard sugar and chocolate varieties. In the brands of our choice, of course. What else did we need when we had the sugar-version trappings of adulthood…cigarettes and lipstick? There were wax bottles, wax lips, pixie stix, candy buttons on paper, jawbreakers, smarties, chocolate coins, hot dog bubble gum, licorice snaps...it went on and on. And then there were the coin purses, rainbows of thread, yarn, ribbon, zippers and buttons. There were 'lucky' rabbit foot keychains dyed in different colors, not to mention the living animals...goldfish, guppies, turtles and birds. Some of the bigger Woolworth's had a lunch counter where we could watch the waitress make our milkshakes and squirt as much ketchup as we wanted on our plates while we turned around and around on the red vinyl stools eating french fries. And it was all packed into a place where we could wander off but still hear our mom when she called for us. The five and dime was abundance...a place where worry and fear were in short supply and everything else was plentiful. My life is filled to overflowing. I have more than enough.

unplugged

2011-04-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

help me step outside

of this box,
touch the earth,

look up at the sky

I just got back from a visit to the Grand Canyon, where I felt small and very much a part of something greater almost instantly. Getting into nature does that. Visiting one of the 7 wonders of the natural world does it on a grand scale. I was reminded that I can't download that birdsong and that the magically changing light of a sunset can't be successfully Skyped. Disconnecting from the electronic world always leaves me wanting more (she "said" while typing on her computer). I'm old enough to remember the busy signal...a sound that said "I AM BUSY!" There is a freedom and a relief in being disconnected, out of range, unavailable. I experience it (after the panic passes) when I forget my cellphone. Or when I lose my internet connection. I feel like it's the universe saying "you're done, take a break." It's essential for me to counterbalance texting, beeps and high-speed with face-to-face conversations, birdsongs and the slow unfolding of something..one moment at a time. I get a strong signal from nature.

this too shall pass

2011-04-13T12:45:00.000-07:00

give me a moment
of misery, joy, anger, peace, fear or triumph,
let me wrap myself in it,
but not get too comfortable

One of the things I remember my mom telling me when I was struggling was "this too shall pass." The folktale connected with it says a mighty king asked his advisors to make him a ring that had the power to make him happy when he was sad and vice versa. They made him a ring inscribed with the words "this too shall pass." Whether I am feeling on top of my game or down in the dumps, knowing that “this too shall pass” is a great balancer. Life is constantly changing and moving. The storms clear the way for the light to enter, the light fades to darkness. But nothing lasts, nothing stays. I live in this moment, knowing that it too, shall pass.

quiet! I'm trying to transform!

2011-04-05T10:06:00.000-07:00

help me to stop thinking so much

do what's in front of me to do,

and know that my thoughts will not help

unfold the universe

I look at my spring garden, everything bursting forth, and marvel at nature. No thoughts, no expectations, just divine timing. If these flowers could think, would they ever get around to blooming? If a butterfly had to plan its transformation, would it happen? Or would it say, 'wait, I'm not ready!' 'I have to take another class' 'Work is so crazy I can't take time to dissolve right now!' It's common knowledge that if we cut a butterfly out of its cocoon, it will whither and die. It needs the darkness and the struggle to gain its strength. So do we. So do others. Nature doesn't want our help. We can sabotage ourselves and others, even with our very best intentions. Our thoughts can be wonderful navigators. But sometimes they need to sit in the backseat, where they belong. With a gag on. I am on a journey of transformation.

prayers and poetry

2011-04-01T13:37:00.000-07:00

I pray to be

a little more poet,

a little less assembly line worker,

a little more menace,
a little less afraid

"Poets may be delightful creatures in the meadow or the garret, but they are menaces on the assembly line.”

- Rollo May, The Courage To Create

If I have a goal for my writing (and my life), it is to stay off the assembly line. Believe me, I've done my time there. My blogprayers have started to feel a little assembly line lately. I'm getting a little tempted to slip a part in my pocket or mess with the product, and just see what happens. From the beginning, I've struggled with the use of the word "god" in my blogprayers, as shorthand for "fill in your personal definition of the divine here." It feels like I'm saying that my god and yours have the same name. And I know that not to be true. Prayer is personal, and hopefully the most earnest expression. I want these to stay earnest. I am going to start them simply with "I pray," in the hope that it will open up the view from my garret. I may change that again. It's a blog, not an assembly line. I live in the meadow.

waiting for my wave

2011-03-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

god, grant me the balance
to wait for, connect with,
surrender to my wave...
teach me to surf

I took a couple of surfing lessons last summer and learned a thing or two about balance, but not in the way I'd imagined I would. I learned about patience, connection and acceptance. I'd seen the surfers, sitting out there on their boards, and had wondered what the heck they were doing (have I mentioned I'm from the midwest?) Starting out, I had some spectacular wipeouts. I wasn't catching the wave, the wave was catching me. As I began to use up more of my own precious energy paddling, I was forced, out of sheer exhaustion, to get still. And to get patient. I shut my noisy mind up and started listening to the deeper conversation of the ocean. I sat on the board and felt the swells and began to "know" when my wave was on its way. I eventually caught a wave...and the exhilarating feeling of tapping into something truly greater than me. Not just any wave, my wave. The one that took me all the way to the shore. I'm waiting for my wave.

god, grant me the sense
to see the signs,
and the courage
to send the message to my feet

A male friend told me once that he thinks women’s intuition is a complete load of crap. “If women have so much intuition, why do they end up in bad relationships, with the wrong guys?” He had a point. The answer is that there’s a difference between having intuition and listening to it. We all have the knowing…if we let ourselves. The signs are there, but sometimes they're hard to find, tough to read. They're covered up by overgrowth of old thorny opinions, almost obliterated by graffiti and stickers that say things like "be nice," "are you sure?" and "aren't you afraid?" I need to clear that debris. Recently, I was struggling with a decision: looking at it from all different angles, making pro and con lists, analyzing, second guessing myself. Exhausted and without resolution, I fell asleep. I awoke after a dream that clearly gave me the answer, the one that was there all along. It’s as if my subconscious said, “here…since you seem so confused.” I acted on that message, knowing that the more I honor my intuition by actually listening to it, the more obvious the signs will become. “Here’s the thing about women's intuition,” I said to my friend who was doubting it, “you don’t have to believe in it, but I do.” I trust and act on my ability to know.

flying through thunderstorms

2011-03-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

god, grant me the prudence
to check the instruments,
fill up the tank,
and not take off in a thunderstorm

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1980

Sometimes I need to fly through thunderstorms. But most of the time, it's a choice. I find myself in the cockpit trying to see out the windshield with the low fuel light on, wondering how I got into this mess. Then I remember about imposing my will on the weather. Or any number of things I cannot change. And I curse my choice to over-commit, over-do and under-prepare; over-think, over-react and under-care for myself. What can I do? I can remember that 99% of the things I worry about will never happen. I can tell myself the world is not ending. I can stop trying to be perfect. I can let some stuff fall off the plate. I can give myself a little more time. I can nourish myself. I can take something off my list. I can choose not to respond to someone else’s sense of urgency or drama. I can breathe. I don't need to create a thunderstorm. And unless I am a fighter pilot at war, I never have to fly through one. My world is at peace. I have a choice. I don’t have to fly through a thunderstorm today.

hope springs vernal*

2011-03-20T16:23:00.000-07:00

god, grant me a pocket
where I can carry hope
so that even when I can't quite put my finger on it
I'll know it's there

It doesn't look much like the first day of spring here in Southern California. Pouring rain, cold, even thunder. Fortunately, I grew up in the Midwest, where this is exactly what spring looks like. Except, of course, when it's snowing. There's a difference between a spring storm and a winter one. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's the jasmine I can smell through it. It's the new green shoots everywhere, taking a big drink. It's hope. The vernal equinox is happening today, no matter what the weather. It has to do with the tilt of this spinning earth and its complicated relationship to the sun. It has to do with the unchanging rhythm, system and arrangement of a power truly greater than me. At some moment today, the Northern Hemisphere will turn its face more fully toward the sun....through no effort of my own, without me making a plan, without my help or even my faith. Spring will not be denied. Spring is here, whether I believe it or not.

*thanks to A.D. for this great headline.

determination

2011-03-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

god, grant me the determination

to push against the obstacles

and the detachment to flow around them

Some days I need incredible determination just to get out of bed in the morning. But I recently witnessed a glimpse of inspiring determination at my local YMCA. An elderly man (I later found out that he’s in his 90s) was walking with his walker in the weight room when he tripped and fell down. He couldn't get up right away. The paramedics were called, and he remained on the ground while they stood over him, trying to talk him into getting on the stretcher and going to the hospital. But he would have no part of that plan! He stayed on the floor until he was ready, and then had the EMTs help him up. Then, he walked right over to a weight machine and got back to his workout! This man didn't get to be a nonagenarian by taking life lying down. When I come across an obstacle, the universe isn't telling me to quit. Maybe it's telling me "I have faith in you." I get up, I stand up, I keep it up.

time and a half

2011-03-09T18:23:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the presence
to feel time's silent infinity
instead of the ticking of its limits
and expand into its welcoming arms

We love playing with that question, "if you had only 6 months to live, what would you do?" It's a quick way to get our priorities in order. Most of us would start making apologies and reservations, not necessarily in that order. But it strikes me that instead of asking myself that question, I'd like to ask myself what I'd do if I knew I was going to live for 600 years. What would I start learning, knowing I'd have time to finish all the homework? How much more would I accomplish if I knew I didn't need to hurry? What paths would I explore? How much more would I play? How much more comfortable would I feel about starting something new today, knowing I could start over again and again and endlessly change my mind and my direction? What if I would never run out of time? Telling myself I have more than enough time might be just the thing that helps me discover my greatest life adventures. I have all the time in the world.

clarity

2011-03-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the center

to be in the clouds

when I long for the sunshine

knowing it can change in a moment

This morning, after the rain, the clouds cleared suddenly and left the most breathtaking views of the mountains and the newly washed earth. I took a walk, came inside the house, and just as quickly, the sky was cloudy once again. When I’m struggling with a tough decision, trying to get clarity about a situation or a relationship, I've discovered that I can't push clouds away with my thoughts. Sometimes the solution isn't mine to see yet. Like the sun, clarity comes and goes. I cannot "get" clarity by thinking my way into it. Instead of trying to "get" it, I just have to "let" it. There are things I can do to help, and they all involve getting out of my own head, and into my body or into nature. I move my energy from my head to my feet, start moving and breathing. I do a mundane chore, notice the blades of grass, focus on what I'm doing in this moment. I begin walking through and being in my day, mindfully, and leave the clarity to it's own business. While I'm busy tending to other things, often the clouds will part. Before I know it, I have clarity. Without a headache. In the clouds or in the sunshine, I breathe.

intuition

2011-03-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the silence
in which to hear the whispering trees
the butterfly wings,
the beat of my own heart

Listening to my intuition is a tricky business which first of all demands a little quiet. It is about paying more attention to the signs and synchronicities that are all around me, to the voice within me, and less attention all the other voices, distractions and noise. A natural part of a decision-making process is to ask others for their opinions. Other times, I am listening to what all the "other voices" would say about my decision. I can listen to those voices, both real and imagined, and then say "thank you for your input." I can even tell them "you don't get to weigh in on this." Those are nice ways of saying "pipe down" or something much less polite. Then, in the silence, I listen. I listen to the voice inside.

integrity

2011-03-02T09:07:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the integrity
to seek the truth,

speak the truth,

be the truth

When we pretend to be someone we're not, stay silent when we should speak, or go along with someone else's version of the truth, we abandon ourselves. And we are not free. We are bound by our own stories, tied up with complicated knots. It is scary to think about living in the land of truth because most of us want to be liked and accepted by others. And it's not too difficult to figure out exactly what to do to get that result. Or so we think. The problem is, to live a peaceful life we just can't keep that kind of effort up. It's too much work to keep the story straight. And trying to do that is, in the end, a waste of time. Little parts of our truth always end up seeping out, eventually, usually in less than pretty ways. Standing in, walking in, speaking our truth doesn't always feel like the safe and easy thing. But its a beautiful thing. Today, I will walk in the truth of who I am.

20,000 moments of inspiration

2011-02-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the inspiration

to breathe in,

breathe out

and repeat

In all the chaos of life, it's good for me to remember that the only thing I really have to do is keep breathing. I think it's fun that the word "inspire" literally means to breathe air in. I often forget to breathe fully, forget the peace that can come from breathing.

The average person takes about 15 breaths a minute, so that means we take about 20,000 breaths a day.
I've discovered an easy way for me to trick myself into to breathing more deeply. I simply straighten my spine, pull my shoulders back, pull my head upwards, like I'm suspended on a string. Doing this instantly makes more space for breath to enter my body…it pulls breath into my body without me having to do anything. Try it right now and see if it your don't feel it. It works if you're standing, sitting, or lying down, anytime, any place. (The number I’m feeling is 20% more, for purposes of my infomercial.) I have 20,000 moments of inspiration every single day.

control

2011-02-25T09:22:00.000-08:00

god, keep me from the me
who needs to classify, define, label and box life up,
let me discover the glitter in the messy confusion
the surprise I might have missed

The more I try to clamp down control over life, the greater chance there is that I will miss the breathtaking synchronicities, the unexpected gifts of this existence. It is in my nature to want to control. It makes me feel safe. But safe is a small place where the options are few. Life won't catch me off guard there, but it also won't make me catch my breath. I need to stay open and flexible, not too structured and skeptical. It takes courage, but I need to learn to be live with a little mess, a little uncertainty, a little chaos. By letting go of control, I make room in my life for the light to enter.

wandering off

2011-02-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the faith to wander off,

knowing that getting lost or being alone
sometimes helps me find myself

When I was about 3 years old, I wandered off and ended up about a half a mile away from home. Somehow, I had safely crossed a few small streets and one busy one. Luckily, my parents had taught me my address so I could tell the nice policeman where I lived. I couldn’t understand what my parents were so upset about. I told them I wasn’t lost, I was with my imaginary friend (who was my constant companion back then.)! Later in my life, I couldn’t imagine how I ventured out on my own like that. But back then, I hadn’t learned to be afraid. I knew I wasn't alone. Since then, I’ve possibly spent too much time in places and on paths that didn’t feel right, because I was afraid to wander off, take a risk, be alone or get lost. I've learned that sometimes staying in safe, familiar places out of fear IS being lost, because in those places I lose touch with myself. I have to remember that I know where I "live," and that my “imaginary friend” will help me find my way. Wandering off, like I did before I learned to be afraid, reminds me that I’m not alone. And I have nothing to be afraid of. I'm not lost, I'm just wandering.

letting go

2011-02-19T13:29:00.000-08:00

god, give me your hand

while I jump the muddy puddle,

rappel down the ravine,

peak out over the edge

I call on my notion of god--the universe, the divine, synchronicity, love, mother earth, my own perfect knowing--to help me get through rough patches. When things are less than great, the notion of giving up control really gets attractive. Letting go is not such a bad thing when holding on is keeping me in some nasty place. If I am in a fear-full place, then giving it up means being fear-less. Having nothing to lose, at the end of the line, is often the place where folks find faith. However we get to the place where we believe in possibility, acceptance leads to great adventures. I let go. I look up. I leap.

in the dark

2011-02-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

god, grant me a moon

when the night is dark,

a surfboard when the waves get big,

rain in the desert.

The true test of what we're about comes in the dark, in the storm, in the drought. Our friends are unavailable, we lose a job, we get the flu, the power goes out and the flashlight is out of batteries. What happens when I'm alone, afraid, sick, hungry, thirsty and in the dark? If enough good has trickled in, if I've explored my own dark corners, if I've cultivated balance, I can find calm in the eye of this storm. Instead of being tossed around by the waves, I know I can surf. When the night is dark, I know that the moon is out there somewhere. Because I have survived other storms, I know I will make it through this. Although I am not currently residing in the land of light and promise, I know I'll get back there. Even when it’s dark, I know I can find my way back home.

riding backwards

2011-02-16T10:38:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the perspective

to be at peace with a past I cannot change,

and to start riding the train

facing forward

In my considerable train, tram and other transit riding experience, I've learned that I don't like sitting in the backwards-facing seats. You know, the seats that are facing the opposite way that the train or tram is going? Most people dislike them--they are always the last seats to be taken. So why is it that we are often satisfied to ride backwards through our lives? We spend time picking apart our mistakes, lamenting a lost relationship, thinking about some "good old days," looking at what we've left behind instead of at where we are going. Riding backwards gives me a stomach ache, a headache, and little else. The future is ahead of me…isn’t that where I want to look? If I find myself sitting in a backwards-facing seat, I'm going to get up and move to the next car. I want to see where I am going. This train called life is moving. I want a good seat.

blame

2011-02-10T12:29:00.000-08:00

god, am I really so self-involved
that I believe everything is somehow my fault?
yo...people, take your share of the blame, would ya?

It's true. Like a turkey on a junebug I'm quick to take on blame. Go ahead, give it to me, throw it on the pile there. The answer lies deep in the lack-of-self-esteem woods. My kid is misbehaving, I must be a bad mom. I can't find a job, I'm a loser. My friend takes advantage of me. I must not be strong enough. My car won't start...whatever, you get the drift. Don't get me wrong...I'm all good with soul searching, seeing my part in my own unhappiness, take responsibility for my own life blah, blah, blah. Sometime I'm a little too good at it. Today I'm going to catch myself and ask the question I sometimes forget: is this mine? Really? If not, I'm giving it back.

trusting my instincts

2011-02-09T10:43:00.000-08:00

god, help me to know
but mostly,
help me just to go

Today I was thinking about trusting my instincts, and I remembered my 7th grade science project. In the project, my friend and I tested the effects of a certain "substance" (OK, it was a drug, sorry!) on gerbils' ability to get through a maze. There was food at the end of the maze. Often, the gerbils would go to one corner of the maze and just stay there, try to dig their way out, or just become sort of paralyzed, stuck in one place. They lost their natural instincts and abilities. Humans can do the same thing. We dull ourselves with substances, habits, distractions, electronics, shopping, busy-ness, unhealthy relationships, or just overthinking a situation. We get ourselves stuck in a corner and forget how to trust our instincts and get moving towards the place we want to be. But unlike in my science project, no one is force feeding us these things. We have a choice. We already know what we want. We can trust our instincts and go. I know, and go.

interpretation

2011-02-08T16:18:00.000-08:00

god, help me observe without judging,

listen without interpreting,

and love myself a little more

I don't know about you but can't get through my day without at least one or two juicy judgments. Judgments are the See's Candy of life. How can I be expected to resist them? Is it my fault people all around me are doing and saying things that just BEG for my judgment? Is it my fault I have a GIFT for interpretation? I know exactly what YOU really mean when you say that, and exactly what YOU are trying to express with your actions. You may say that I am judging myself when I judge you so harshly but you would be WRONG! (Again!) I give up! Why can't you be perfect like me?? Paying attention to my judgements is a step in self-awareness. The next step is detaching--letting others be, do and say what they will without the "benefit" of my interpretation. When I let others have their own truth and experience, I give myself permission to do the same.

driving lessons

2011-02-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

god, grant me a driving lesson...

to help me keep my eyes on the road

my hands on the wheel

and my mind on my own side of the street

When my dad was teaching me to drive, I remember him saying…”keep your eyes on the road,” and “let them look out for you.” Apparently he thought I was too focused on what the other drivers were doing. Codependent driving! He was right. The first week I had my driver’s license, I had an accident because I was looking in my rearview mirror and didn’t notice that the traffic in front of me had stopped. As I drive through life I need to glance in the rearview at the lessons I've learned, but keep my eyes on the road ahead and not get stuck in the past--things I cannot change. I need to keep my hands on the wheel--focus on steering in the direction I want my life to go--change the things I can. I can't get hung up on what other drivers are doing or not doing. I don't cross the double yellow--I know the difference between my side of the street and theirs. I am navigating this road of life beautifully.

fear is a bully

2011-02-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the courage
to know when to respect my fear,
when to listen to it
and when to stare it down

Today is Chinese New Year, and it's the year of the rabbit. I don't know much about the Chinese symbology, but in Native American tradition the rabbit's medicine is fear. Rabbits seem fearful, ever on alert, ready to run. So the message of the rabbit for me is "face your fear." Fear is a bully. Running from it just gives it more power. Facing fears as they present themselves is important. If I'm walking alone down a dark alley my fear is there to protect me. I need to listen. Other times I need to respectfully tell fear "thank you, I hear you, but I'm just fine." And many times I need to stand up to the fear bully and say "go away." Facing my fears means listening to and looking at them openly and honestly. Today I face my fear by looking it right in the eye.

back burning my anger

2011-02-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the technique

to feel my anger

but not fuel my anger

keeping myself and others from harm

During California wildfires, firemen often employ a technique called back burning. They go ahead of the fire and burn out areas of brush so that when the wildfire reaches them, there is no fuel to burn, and the fire dies out. And so it is with anger. It needs fuel to keep going. When it gets out of control it is destructive.

My thoughts are energy, they are fuel. If I refuse to feed my anger, or any negative emotion, with the fuel of my thoughts and energy, it will die out. I am learning to choose where my precious fuel gets spent. If I give it to anger, worry, regret, shame…those things can get huge, like a wildfire out of control, hurting myself and others. I choose not to fuel the fire of my anger.

The Peaceful Limited

2011-01-31T15:44:00.000-08:00

god, sell me a ticket
on the peaceful limited
when I'm dealing with people
who are driving me over the edge

A friend reminded me today that a key to maintaining serenity is keeping our interactions with certain people "peaceful and limited." Most of us have people in our lives who can push our buttons and cause us to lose our cool, no matter how well we are managing our lives. There are people in the world who are suffering. Making others suffer may be a way of dealing with their own pain. Contact with mercurial people is sometimes unavoidable. It is my job to limit that contact and keep it peaceful. I keep my contact with certain people peaceful and limited.

getting unstuck

2011-01-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the tiny step

that trusts divine direction

and leads me to the place

I do not have a name for yet

Sometimes I’m not sure of where I’m headed, I only know it isn’t where I’m at. What’s my purpose, my dream, my path, my next move? At those times, I remind myself that the antidote to feeling stuck is taking a tiny step in some direction, any direction. A tiny step does not have to be perfect, or even practical. I act on an instinct, follow a hunch, ask a question, pick up the phone, send an e-mail, open a book to a random page. One tiny step needs to the next and suddenly I realize I’m running full speed ahead. When I come to the end of one road, I find another. I discover places I never could have imagined or arrived at, if I’d never taken that first tiny step. Tiny steps are paving the way.

empowerment

2011-01-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the empowerment
to take stock in myself,
take credit for my successes
and take responsibility my mistakes.

The word "empowerment" can be confusing. I used to think that I couldn't consider myself empowered until I was the CEO of a multinational corporation, had run a marathon and written three New York Times bestsellers. But I've come to discover that true empowerment can be sweet, silent and small. I can't hang a picture of it on the wall. It is a process of defining myself less by the "outer" and more by the "inner." The em in empowerment starts with embracing what already lies within me, whatever the truth of that is. Empowerment means taking credit for my success. But it also means taking responsibility for my mistakes, and having the humility to learn and grow from them. Learning how to access my resources and use them wisely--empowerment--is a lifelong process...the more I do it, the more gifts, opportunities, growth and success I draw to myself. I have the power to create a life I truly love.

flexibility

2011-01-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the flexibility
to relax my grip enough
to let go of the familiar
and grab onto something new

I read an article the other day saying there was a correlation between people who were not flexible in their bodies and a tendency for heart disease. Apparently, the same thing that makes our muscles stiff can make our arteries rigid as well. The advice was to try to remain as flexible as we can, to help prevent heart disease. Rigid thinking can also be bad for our health. A flexible and resilient mind is a healthy one. Sometimes its good to reach beyond what feels safe, comfortable and known, and practice stretching my mind...so that I stay resilient and healthy enough to handle whatever life hands me. I stretch my body, mind and spirit daily.

perspective

2011-01-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the window

in which to see

all you've intended for me

and everything that is already here

Today is my birthday and I was graced with a magical hike with my beautiful friend who suggested we plant some thought seeds on our way. We were treated to beautiful vistas, and to the realization that perspective is everything. Getting above our "world" made us look at how small and unimportant our worries are. My friend pointed out that she could cover all of downtown Los Angeles with her thumb! As I was planting my "seeds," a butterfly landed on my arm. We saw a solitary hawk gliding and circling effortlessly above us, a reminder of how easy this life can be if we let ourselves float on the current. I remember to connect with nature, where I get a better view of everything.

silence

2011-01-20T14:37:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the discernment to know
when to show up,
when to speak up,
and when to shut up.

Most of the time, showing up is enough. Speaking up...that's something I've had to learn, and in my learning curve have done it less than perfectly.
Mostly, I still need to learn when to shut up. And that's probably more often than I imagine. I am learning that silence is beautiful and powerful.

souls and roles

2011-01-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the vision
to see past my roles,
and into my soul
knowing it's OK to just be

Many of us have been so busy taking care of and focusing on others, that we never got around to figuring who we were as individuals. I'm not talking about making a list of the roles we play: parent, partner, friend...or what we do for a living. (Although making those lists is a good way to start!) What we "do" or don't do isn't who we are. Who we are in our souls, our essence, is the ultimate definition of ourselves. It's the thing that needs no definition, no label. It's the already perfect us. And figuring out who we are in our souls will carry us through the times when we feel like we are failing at our roles.

This soul knowledge come in glimpses, in inspirations. It comes as a result of being tuned in, paying attention, going within... through meditation, a spiritual practice, therapy, 12-step work or whatever path leads us to that larger and deeper understanding. It's the knowledge that every moment is a process of discovery. We can become more aware and more connected to our essence, everyday, in every moment. That deep knowing...when we are able to glimpse the unique, sparkly, glorious, indescribable soul underneath (or is it above and beyond?) all the roles we play, we will know that what truly defines us will never leave. We will know that its OK to just be. I am a perfect expression of the universe.

feelings

2011-01-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the detachment
to enjoy a smorgasbord of feelings,
without overindulging
in any of them.

In the smorgasbord of feelings, I have a lot to choose from...how about a fear frittata, with a side of guilt gravy? Or a confidence kebab, with some serenity slaw? In the feeling smorgasbord, there are so many choices! And the real beauty is that I definitely have a choice.
I can have many different feelings, even all at the same time. Just because a feeling is there doesn't mean I have to pile it on my plate. It's OK to sample a little bit, and not let any one feeling overwhelm me. I can put my plate on the conveyer belt and watch them all disappear! There's plenty more where those came from. In the smorgasbord of life, I don't have to eat every feeling.

heart exercise

2011-01-14T11:30:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the lovingkindness

to open my heart,

listen to my heart,

and act from my heart

Our hearts are muscles that must be exercised. It's common knowledge that aerobic exercise raises our heart rate to help keep us in good physical condition. But what about the emotional condition of our hearts? Just as in the physical realm, the key to emotional health means regular workouts. For me, that means OPENING my heart and looking honestly at what is there, LISTENING to those feelings in a detached yet loving way, and ACTING from my heart, and not my head. That 3-step practice helps my emotional heart muscles stay strong, flexible and healthy. My heart is my truth. My bright heart light illuminates my life and shines for all to see.

life purpose

2011-01-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

God, grant me the guidance,

to discover my purpose,

focus on what's in front of me,

and leave behind the paths unchosen.

In a dream last night I was starting a newspaper with a friend and choosing happily to be the layout person, instead of the writer. Then, in the dream I looked in the mirror and realized with sadness that I was already the writer and that it was "too late" to start over. In real life, I started out as a graphic design major in college, then switched to journalism. I can torture myself wondering if graphic design was the "right" path for me, but chances are that had I followed that path I might find myself wondering if I should have been a writer instead. I can look back on every missed opportunity, every fork in the road and wonder where the unchosen path would have taken me. But the point is to keep moving forward, looking forward, and trusting. My son is home sick today. Perhaps every decision in my life so far had led me to this exactly place, this day, this moment in which I have the freedom to be here and take care of him. I cannot imagine a more important purpose. By focusing on what's in front of me to do, my path becomes clear.

honoring the sacred

2011-01-12T10:28:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the perspective

to see what is sacred to me,

what is sacred around me,

and what is sacred in me.

So much of our lives is spend “doing” the things we have to do to live and survive. Work, errands, driving, caretaking. It’s easy to lose sight of the sacred. The reason religions have a sabbath is so that folks can take a break from doing work or conducting business in order to reconnect with the sacred. Whether or not we recognize a sabbath day, we can reconnect with the sacred for a few moments every day. First, we need to decide what IS sacred to us…our children, nature, the first cup of coffee in the morning? Then, we can honor those things by taking a moment to stop, notice and appreciate them. By taking a few moments to honor some sacred thing each day, in the midst of all the chaos that makes up our lives, we acknowledge what really makes life worthwhile. We get perspective. By deciding what is truly sacred to us we help define who we are, outside of the roles we play. By honoring the sacred, we honor ourselves. Today I honor something that is important to me. I tell myself it matters. I tell myself I matter.

the rainbow zone

2011-01-11T10:19:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the rainbow,

that takes me out of my black and white thinking,

helps me see all the possibilities

and all the colors

I used to hate the grey area. Black and white thinking made me feel safe. I had to control things, to define them as either this or that. The grey area was way too big and way too scary. Slowly, I have come to LOVE the grey area, what I've decided to think of as the rainbow zone. It’s the place between black and white where all the other colors live. All the choices, all the nuances, all the possibilities. It's magic. It's prescient. It's beyond the grip of my control. It's where anything is possible. Relationships, decisions, unsolved life puzzles don't have to be defined, decided or answered today. They can be in “the in between." They can stay "the question." Because there simply is no reason, no way, and really no need to define, decide, solve everything today. So I empty the boxes I'm trying to stuff things in, take off the labels, let things be messy for a while. I let it be. I let go. I trust. I don't have to know. Although it is raining, I trust there is a surprise waiting for me around the corner, a RAINBOW. I am no longer defined by black or white. I live for the rainbow.

faith and fear

2011-01-10T12:16:00.000-08:00

god, grant me the faith
to know that although there is evil in the world,
most people are good
and I am safe

In the face of senseless and random violence, like what we saw in Arizona last week, it's easy feel that the world is scary and out of control. It's true, there are bad people out there and things to be frightened of, but there are many more good people and things to be grateful for. We have a choice about the place we live from: faith or fear. We can choose to live in constant fear of what could happen, or we can choose to know that we are safe and all is well. Fear is there to protect us in dangerous circumstances, to help us react to real threats. But most of the time, the threats are not real, they are not ours, or they are something from the past. Yes, there is evil and I cannot change that. I also cannot change the past. But the past is over, the world is full of goodness, and right here, this moment, I am safe.

the serenity prayer

2011-01-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

I've decided to loosely hang this blog on the serenity prayer, because I think it contains so much of what we need to know about life:
"God
Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference."

It comes from a longer prayer, and was first attributed to a theologian named Reinhold Neibuhr in the 1930's or 40's. Some think it dates back to way before then. The idea certainly does. It's become the prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 step groups, and there are many versions of it.

Here's one I really like, from a nursery rhyme in 1695:
"For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it."

Reading that version inspired me to use the prayer as a sort of haiku-like form to center my thoughts around. Because yeah, that's the stuff.

daily serenity prayer

prayer for the moment

not necessary

shift

Powerless. Really, really.

stalling for serenity

surrender

change

risk-taking

forgiveness

stillness

soul mapping

uncomfortable feelings

lucky stars

off the grid

powerless

life sandwich

bring it

personal gravity

no fair

abundance

unplugged

this too shall pass

quiet! I'm trying to transform!

prayers and poetry

waiting for my wave

you are here

flying through thunderstorms

hope springs vernal*

determination

time and a half

clarity

intuition

integrity

20,000 moments of inspiration

control

wandering off

letting go

in the dark

riding backwards

blame

trusting my instincts

interpretation

driving lessons

fear is a bully

back burning my anger

The Peaceful Limited

getting unstuck

empowerment

flexibility

perspective

silence

souls and roles

feelings

heart exercise

life purpose

honoring the sacred

the rainbow zone

faith and fear

the serenity prayer